Choke
by serdtse
Summary: The once in a lifetime perfect chance. Kyle doesn't intend to waste it. Contains character death.


Choke

Sitting near Stark's Pond was something I loved to do. Especially during my favourite weather. Gusty and darkened with clouds, tiny snow crystals and forgotten leaves swirling along with the coarse wind. I sit along the edge of the water, dipping my small, bare feet into the slushy water. The pond was currently brimmed with a think, extremely slippery wall of ice. If there were a strong wind I'd probably fall right in. It would be impossible to climb out, since the wall sort of caved in towards the pond and it was impossible to grip.

People say depression doesn't suit me. I wasn't depressed, however. I was simply lost and confused. I was at an age where I realized things, and started to think about it. Too much thinking drives people crazy sometimes. I find myself at the pond whenever I feel downed by my thoughts. I'd write random blurbs about how I felt down on my notebook.

As I continued to sit, with my notebook opened on my lap to a blank page, I noticed something. From behind a frost-bitten bush, movements arose and somebody emerged. I narrowed my eyes and nodded my head to the side. The person was my own worst enemy, so called friend Eric Cartman. He couldn't see me since I was sitting behind some vegetation. I watched Cartman as he walked to the edge of the water. Cartman walked along the edge, proceeding opposite my direction. He was right on the verge of the icy pond wall, and if he made one small error or a sudden wind blew, he'd be whisked into the frigid water. I didn't really care though.

Cartman walked farther along the water edge, and I was starting to wonder what he was doing here all alone. He appeared to be looking for something… As he treads onto a part where the wall became steep, the idea dawned upon me.

_Kill him._

Air left my system, leaving my throat dried out. It was the perfect chance… nobody would know. It would be easy, I'd just push him in. He can't swim well, and it's impossible to push yourself back on land with this super icy wall, especially if you're that fat. I wondered if I'd ever get a chance like this again. I wondered if I should do this.

Oh well, I was feeling the passion of the moment.

Finding myself behind the fatass, I pushed him into the cold water. Happiness came in a sudden rush, engulfing my mind. He yelled when he was pushed in, and landed in the water with a great splash, dousing me in some of the cool water. I didn't flinch a bit. The heat from the adrenaline raced through my blood vessels, burning my body up.

He splashed and sputtered, blurting out yells and curses. Cartman thrashed about in the water, trying to grab the edge, but constantly failing and slipping. Seeing the boy who always insulted me, insulted the things and people I love, hurted me, marred me, he was at my feet. He was almost underneath my feet, struggling like a helpless crow who couldn't swim. I stared at him. He gasped out my name, and I could make out for a split second Cartman's shocked face. He screamed at me.

Joy, happiness, adrenaline was all I felt now. I think I'm high. I couldn't help but burst out laughing hysterically at Cartman's pathetic state and my accomplishment. I arc my back, curling with shrieks of laughter. I curl back to my upwards stance with a snap, putting a serious face on. Cartman stops flailing, and decides to just float a bit. His face is bitten blue, and he gives me a purely pitiful look. Something I've probably never seen on him before. My lips curl sharply upwards, and I gave him a wicked smile.

"Kyle… I…" He rasps out. I widen my eyes at him expectantly, but he is unable to say anymore. The cold had taken over his body.

Cartman's eyes fill with tears. _No…_

Anger displaced my ecstasy swiftly. My features distorted into something horrible, and I spat a foul curse at him.

Eric's crying face was the last thing I saw before storming away.

…

I was back in town. And I let the impact of what I'd just done crash down on me.

_No, no no! Stay calm… nobody knew where I was. Nobody knows I go to Stark's Pond. I won't get caught, I won't get caught, I won't get caught…_

Soon I couldn't keep up with my breathing. No… I just killed somebody. And now, I must form the aftermath. It's not over… I must make sure I won't get caught. Flipping my phone open, I knew this was the best thing to do. I pressed a speed dial.

"Hello? Stan… where are you? … At the mall, with Kenny? I'll be there soon."

…

In two months I had grown back into the same old Kyle. I realized that I've actually been depressed. As I said, thinking about things a little too much can make somebody go crazy.

But there was a part of me that remained empty.

Eric Cartman's body was found later that day I pushed him into the pond. Nobody suspected that it was murder, and instead they believed that Cartman was being reckless, not listening to the adults and just slipping on ice.

The funeral had been quick and quiet. His mother was crying. A lot of his relatives showed up, carrying faces masked with sadness. The people he had known came. Stan, Kenny and I, the three closest people to him had appeared as well. We stood there at his funeral, with straight faces and dark silence brooding over our heads. I was hiding a mix of emotions. Happiness that he was dead. Mockery at how he died, and how much people didn't care. Anger because of those last tears he shed, that image I could never forget. Relief that nobody knew and would never know that I killed him. I also felt sadness, for some unknown reason. I guess I just got sad at any funeral.

However, what bothered me the most was the reason he had come to Stark's Pond in the first place. The truth I would never know, even though the truth is something I'd never come to believe. And it still chills me to the very marrow of my bones to think about what he was going to say when he was floating in the water. No matter how old I grow, I will never forget that moment. It scares me, and gives me nightmares still.

But there was one thing I hated about myself.

You know that you have no heart when you don't feel at least the tiniest bit of regret in you after murdering somebody, no matter who they may be.

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><p>Hope you enjoyed~~ x3<p>

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